Sunday, May 27, 2007

never weak

i have always told myself never to be weak in front of others. no matter how tough things get, i will always be the last man standing. i will not cry. i will not shout for help. i will bear the burden. i will endure the pain. i maybe exhausted after the fight but i will be a stronger person. i will face all the crap now and i am also the one who will have the last laugh. i will not be the person i hate the most.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

on your own

no matter how ugly the working world is, the desire to work and to live independently never leaves my body. it has been almost a month since i started work and i am starting to dislike the ugly side of humans. it convinces me that man is selfish and seriously, it is a man eats man world outside. back stabbing, pushing off responsibilities and definitely covering our asses. i have to the fittest in order to survive, just like being the sole survivor in the reality show. so how much talk about competitive school environment. it is nothing when compared to the outside world.

in school, i am just a pampered kid in the eyes of the working adults. who am i to talk about competitiveness? i have yet to face the real danger. errors become mistakes and i will be forgiven in school. at work, i will have to prepare to pack my bags and go. and if my boss is a little kinder, a pair of simple ear plugs will do the job.

i wonder how i am going to survive in the future. wake up your idea! the entire world does not evolve around you. the whole thing is not just about you, it is more about a team. start working together to make things work. i hate it when everything boils down to individualism. if it is part of your job scope, be proactive and take up the responsibility. stop trying to find excuses to push it off just by saying, "sorry, i am busy". how can you expect ourselves to cover your duties? where the hell is your sense of responsibilities and shamefulness?

it is all about faults!!! when can i look at the strengths of others? stop being a critical person. afterall, it is just a temporary job to spend time and to earn some money. take it easily and maybe i will start to love my job more.

Friday, May 18, 2007

dreams

when school ends, blogging is the last thing on my mind that i want to do. probably because i have many other better stuff to keep myself busy with for the past few weeks, like working, watching anime and not forgetting my drinking sessions. talking about drinking, i think i suck at drinking now. so to those out there who hate me, you can make me drunk and leave me by the roadside for revenge. i need to drink more often to up my tolerance or else stupid, fat and ugly dabai will start laughing at me again.

he was telling me there are 4 obstacles to realizing dreams. i think i belong to the baker now. i have achieved what i always want to and right now, my life has came to a stand still. so how am i supposed to proceed from here? it is like i have lost something in my life, not knowing where to go next. even when i set my mind in doing something, the drive is not as strong as before, the passion is not there. everything just seems so blur and i am clueless. i know one day, i will find my direction but right now, i just have to recharge myself before the next sprint.

i have given up hope on it. i know things are not going to work out so i dont think there is any point in holding onto it for my dear life. i have much better and more meaningful stuff to do rather than hoping and waiting. i am sick of the uncertainity. i am happy alone.

double doses of friendships!

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Saturday, May 05, 2007

passion

it is amazing to know the extend that passion can do to our lives. the burning flame within is always calling out to us to do we want to do. always to pursue our dreams! no matter how simple or stupid it may sound to others, we just have to standby our beliefs and just do it. why should we bother about what others think, feel or look at us? we dont live our lives for them but for ourselves. so we should just go all out for our passion. nothing is impossible but is it really that case?

sometimes, all we lack is luck. the talents, the right moment, the perfect combination but luck is just not there. we struggle with all our might to live our dreams but end up, we suffer and injure ourselves. is it a sign to stop? we will not want to stop because we are all set to get it or nothing. it is the time when someone who truly cares for us to step into the picture.

stop, and rest if we must! that is what we hear. pursuing our dreams blindly is not doing any good to anyone. so what if we get what we want in the end? a bright future and a comfortable life. are these really the only things that we are looking for in life? we may have neglected people who are dear to us in the process. kinship, friendship, love and concern are priceless. they are feelings that we cannot hold or own and are usually turn into regret when it is too late.

maybe sometimes it is wise for us to be contented with our lives. never to compare because we may appear pale under comparsion. why should we make ourselves miserable by doing ourselves a disfavour? so, it is time to stop thinking and go out there and hug everyone! hugging is the best form of emotional support. so, i am going to hug my pillow and head off to sleep.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

when everything ends

when everything ends, how do you feel? lost because you dont know what you can do when you reach home since you have nothing to work towards now. happy because it is 3 months of holidays with no mugging. worried because you did not put in your best. emotionless because you are too tired to feel anything. all i know is that i dont want to stay at home for long hours anymore. i am sick of being at home, sitting by my desk because i had been doing that for the past one month. so out, out, out of my house!

it shall start with a small celebration with overwhelming of food. first night was steamboat and dessert which made me go crazy on my way home. luckily the bus driver was a skilful driver. if not, there was a high chance for me to puke on the bus. today was more food!!! it was my first time eating vietnamese food and i am loving it. it was just rice noodles but it was heavy enough for me to give up on my durian zhu change feng. =( i am going back to try it for the sake of DURIAN.

yes, it is food, food and more food. i thought of something big to do when i was busy mugging away. i have not told anyone about it yet. i am not sure if it will work because it does not only concern me. i seriously hope to have the green light to try it out and most importantly for it to work.

happy working tmr! =D